Blog: Fertility mints

Charles Kingsland

Posted by Charles Kingsland

26 May 2016

What we eat is very important for our wellbeing. We live a lot longer than we did 100 years ago because we lead healthier lives, eat well and have the benefit of medical technology that simply wasn’t available then.

Most medicine was built on myth, hearsay and good old fashioned quackery.

I always remember my old Grandpa, swearing by the benefits of Parishers Chemical he used to buy from the local chemist. ‘The finest thing you could take Charlie. Its full of goodness.’ Goodness, what’s that then?

The fact was this erstwhile medication was so full of noxious chemicals that it made all of his teeth rot and fall out. He still lived a long and healthy life, not because of this poison he took regularly but because he exercised, ate well and, most importantly chose his parents very carefully.

Today, good food is cheap but rubbish food is even cheaper and tends to taste good. Similarly, we still hang on to those old myths and prejudices about medications that we think and are told do us good.

Also if those medications are reassuringly expensive, we are then duped into thinking they will bestow even greater benefits upon us.

Just look, the High Street and even worse, the internet is full of stuff you can buy which, in theory, sounds great but in practice has little or no benefit or worse still, could be harmful. No worries though, if it comes in a really impressive packet with some odd American claiming its untold benefit and is expensive, its got to be good.

So we buy it, then it gives us a placebo fuelled rush to make us feel good and then…..nothing.

Although sometimes, just occasionally, someone will get better or in my specialty, pregnant and they will think that it was due to the medication. That I’m afraid, was a medical phenomenon called coincidence.

Because they were daft enough to buy it in the first place, they will tell their friends how great it was and the news spreads and who wins?

With no medical evidence, the fact of the matter is that the 'patient' got better despite the medicine/treatment/whatever, not because of it.

Now, having got that all off my chest, I've just invented something incredible, they are my fertility mints, they are truly brilliant. You suck one a day, or better still, three times a day, for at least three months and it doubles you chance of getting pregnant, honestly.

The slight drawback is that they cost £200 a packet. But hurry, I only have a limited supply and my special spring discount offer must end tomorrow!

If you buy a packet today, you will also get my free video on other dodgy stuff you can buy, take or have done to you to improve your chances of getting pregnant.

On the other hand, you could just eat healthily, stop smoking and get down to your best weight. Oh and something else, just have sex more often and properly and that, to most of us, is completely free of charge! Or is it?

 

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Charles Kingsland

Author: Charles Kingsland

Professor Kingsland is joint Founder and Senior Consultant of The Hewitt Fertility Centre and Professor of Reproductive Medicine at Edge Hill University.